So, I’ve been doing this blogging thing for 6 months, today. In honor, here’s a metapost – a blog post about writing the blog.
(I’ll write the next one about making intercourse superb, to compensate.)
The blog: Friends and strangers have written me heartfelt emails and comments, both positive and negative, about stuff I’ve written – all the way from “almost substanceless, extremely defensive pontificating” (that was from a good friend) to “made me cry, physically cry, tears of pride and nostalgia” (from a stranger).
I take from that that I am doing both a terrible job and a fabulous job, which is pretty much the story of my life.
The blog has changed – or at least what I want from the blog has changed – in these months. I’ve been thinking about that a lot; I added an About the Blog page to explain this, which I invite you to ignore or not, as you please.
The short version, though, is that I didn’t start writing with the idea of having any kind of audience, and it surprises me every day that anyone reads what I write or takes it seriously.
Like many nerds who work hard at a job they love, I have a LOT of noise in my head all the time. I have to work – deliberately, effortfully – to turn down the volume. The blog was originally intended as a storage unit for some of that noise; it contained that fraction of my brain that made me most annoying in real life, like the embarrassingly obsessive collection of cribbage boards on my dad’s back porch. No one uses them, they just SIT THERE gathering dust and awkward glances.
That was fine when it was mainly my sister, my friend Andrew, and a handful of students reading the blog.
But now there’s more of you, people I don’t know. Most of you seem quite nice, quite articulate, quite interesting, etc., the kind of people I’d happily have a beer with. That’s excellent. But you do make me feel like I have some kind of responsibility here.
So I’m gonna try to be a little less noisy now, a little more deliberate and, well, responsible.
I figure I’m in a position of some small amount of power – I’ve got education and credentials and a job that allows me to teach people stuff I think is important, so that I can create positive change in the world. And I am definitely trying to change in the world; I’m trying to make it more sex positive: more sexually healthy, more welcoming of sexual diversity, more fair. Through science! Science, whose demand for objectivity necessitates a sex positive attitude, which is inherently compassionate, welcoming, and self-reflexive.
So my more deliberate and responsible goal with the blog now is to provide a fairly transparent, warts-and-all (because there’s something, something important, about authenticity) window into the workings of a radically sex positive sex educator doing the work and trying to create change.
It involves a lot of falling on my face in public, hard; it involves a lot of failure to self-monitor adequately and therefore accidentally shocking people, and a lot of visceral horror at the state of the world; but it also involves a lot of joyous increments of success, a basic pleasure in the scientific method, and a wildly comprehensive appreciation for the nature of humans as sexual organisms.
I am the job, you see. It’s a weird life.
Let’s see what happens in another six months, eh?