one bit of orgasm advice that actually helps

one bit of orgasm advice that actually helps

As of today, we are 50 days away from the release of my book, which I can’t shut up about because I genuinely believe it’ll change people’s lives for the better. In celebration, I wanted to tell you about an email I received recently – one of those wonderful emails that tell you you’re doing something right. I was doing a Q&A with a group of students and we got to talking about orgasm – you know, as you do – and in particular we talked about what to do when you notice yourself struggling with orgasm. I said, “There’s this thing

How many women *never* orgasm?

How many women *never* orgasm?

As I was researching my epic g-spot piece, I reread Elisabeth Lloyd’s excellent Case of the Female Orgasm: Bias in the science of evolution, and I had one of those “HOLY CRAP,” moments. It came in Chapter 1, when I was reading these data:   This is basically how Dr. Lloyd summarizes 32 studies conducted over 70+ years, on the frequency of women’s orgasms with intercourse – intercourse ALONE, mind you, not orgasm with additional direct clitoral stimulation. (It doesn’t add up to 100% because there are overlap in the groups, but it’s a solid representation of 70 years of science.) The central

An awesome question: how do I stay interested in sex after ejaculation?

An awesome question: how do I stay interested in sex after ejaculation?

Here’s an awesome question:   Happy vacation! I’m a male in my late 30’s. What are some ways to improve prolonging my interest in sex after ejaculation? I have all these grand ideas of continuing the sexy times, but then I ejaculate and completely fizzle (not just physically, I lose almost all interest in sex almost immediately). My partner is usually worn out at this point too so it’s not a problem in our sex life. Sometimes she is interested in continuing, and will guide me to continue touching or going down, that’s usually the best way to keep me

An awesome question: what’s the deal with the g-spot?

An awesome question: what’s the deal with the g-spot?

Here’s an awesome question:    Apparently I’m supposed to have a g-spot and I have never in my life experienced anything remotely resembling what people say the g-spot feels like. What the hell?   I wrote an extremely thorough answer to this question over at Medium, but for those who just want to know what’s up without having to think about research methodology or social justice issues, here ya go: The reality is: Women vary. If you have female genitals, then you have an area between your vagina and your urethra, and there’s a lot going on there. There’s the urethral

what 60 years of science says about women’s masturbation

what 60 years of science says about women’s masturbation

I’ve been drawing graphs again. I’m finding it helpful, as a way to get deep inside an ocean of data. This time it’s women’s masturbation. See, the “master narrative” of women’s masturbation has been that women masturbate with vaginal penetration – that’s what most of my students believe (until they take my class) and it’s what I believed until 2000, when I encountered the first research I’d ever read on the subject. It said that about 90% of women masturbate without any penetration at all. From that moment on, I’ve been intrigued… but I lost that original paper. So I dug

the dual control model

the dual control model

Originally written by the romantic euphemism and me for Erika Masturbateer Moen’s Oh Joy Sex Toy, here is The Dirty Normal Official Summary of How the Dual Control Model Works:

3 big problems (and 1 awesome thing) in huffpo’s article about women’s orgasm

I don’t often do things like this, but sometimes a mainstream media thing gets SO many things SO wrong that I can’t not correct it. HuffPo UK has an article today called National Orgasm Day: Experts Reveal Everything You Need To Know About The Big O with info from “a brilliant expert panel” who apparently either explained things poorly or are stuck in a 20-years-out-of-date paradigm of sexuality and sex education. “There are two types of female orgasm: clitoral and vaginal” Seriously? If there are “two types of orgasm,” both defined by their genital stimulation, then people without sensation below

Vaginas of Science, Vaginas of Justice: Representations of Healthy Female Sexual Functioning in Feminist Porn

Hey folks, here is my Feminist Porn Conference talk, which I gave today in a session with Carol Queen and Princess Kali (holy crap). It went pretty darn well, though of course my paper was too long and (as often happens) once I got started I have a difficult time shutting my mouth. Ya know. I get enthusiastic. BTW, if anyone has any idea how to convincingly represent responsive desire in feminist porn, please let me know! First, a preface regarding the words “male,” “female,” “man,” and “woman:” because a lot of my talk references psychophysiological research conducted almost exclusively