what to teach your boys – prevent violence with one simple idea

what to teach your boys – prevent violence with one simple idea

In addition to the horrorshow that is the news of the United States these days, recently a friend of mine called in a panic. He was supporting a friend of his, who had just been sexually assaulted – a woman, assaulted by a man. Once we got through the basics – how to support a survivor; going to the police; going to the hospital; calling a crisis line; etc – we gradually got to the crux of his experience: He is a good man, and his is the father of two young boys. So he wanted to know what to teach

How are penises like puppies…? [image]

How are penises like puppies…? [image]

  My romantic euphemism is teaching me to use Photoshop, because I’ve decided that maybe I can do better than markers and printer paper when I make my little graphs. So! To learn to use the “text” tool, I put together this adorable image (complete with the appropriate creative commons license) with this blog post, one of my favorites, though it’s four years old. And made this. Which shows me how much appropriate graphics can add to a good analogy.

how to compliment a woman (hint: the same way you tickle her)

how to compliment a woman (hint: the same way you tickle her)

A friend of mine posted this on Facebook:   Seen on the T:Man: (reaches across train to slap woman’s sneakered foot) “Those are pretty.”Woman: (takes out one earbud) “Excuse me?”Man: (pointing at her shoes) “I said those are pretty.”Woman: “So you needed to slap my foot?” Man: “It’s a COMPLIMENT.” Woman: (sarcastically) “Oh great. Thanks.”   My friend commented,    “My jaw actually dropped. At first I thought he knew her and was trying to get her attention and then I realized very quickly that wasn’t the case. Yikes.”   All the women who commented were like, “*sigh* and “men…” and

An awesome question: is desire discrepancy the root of all evil?

An awesome question: is desire discrepancy the root of all evil?

Here’s an awesome question:   Is the discrepancy in spontaneous desire between men and women the root of all gender-related problems? (I’m talking about the difference between “average of all men” and “average of all women”, not between individuals.)  Because that discrepancy makes sex be seen as something women give to men, and not something men give to women. It’s the reason why (women think) “men always want sex” and why (men think) “women always say no”. Women don’t say no just to be mean, after all.  In other words, there is an imbalance of supply and demand. That’s why …

An awesome question: what is “mojo” and can you have too much?

An awesome question: what is “mojo” and can you have too much?

Here’s an awesome question (plus a friendly trigger warning to go with the answer – discussion of relationship violence): Can women/transwomen “sense” a man’s sexual ‘MOJO (“riz-in”)’; and is it possible to give off a natural, uncontrollable vibe that’s too hot and heavy for average people? This is a serious question To which the only honest answer must be: I don’t even know how science would go about measuring that. Let’s think systematically about how you could operationalize “mojo,” so that you could study it scientifically. How do you measure it? How do you select participants with “high” mojo? Do

An awesome question: how do I stay interested in sex after ejaculation?

An awesome question: how do I stay interested in sex after ejaculation?

Here’s an awesome question:   Happy vacation! I’m a male in my late 30’s. What are some ways to improve prolonging my interest in sex after ejaculation? I have all these grand ideas of continuing the sexy times, but then I ejaculate and completely fizzle (not just physically, I lose almost all interest in sex almost immediately). My partner is usually worn out at this point too so it’s not a problem in our sex life. Sometimes she is interested in continuing, and will guide me to continue touching or going down, that’s usually the best way to keep me

the science of (sexual) frustration

the science of (sexual) frustration

Arthur Chu wrote this lovely piece about Misogyny, Entitlement, and Nerds over at Daily Beast, and this is me adding some brain science to his sentiment. It’s science that has totally changed my own life, both personally and professionally, and I want you all to learn it and then tell everyone you know, okay? It’s science I’ve blogged about maybe once, but it’s science that forms the foundation of the second half of my book (which won’t be out until next spring). It’s about how frustration works, and what to do about it when it happens to you. Ready? Here

Do most men really have a stronger sex drive than most women?

A quick science tidbit before the weekend begins: a question someone asked at the end of my quick 10 question survey about the best non-fiction sex books you’ve read (feel free to participate if you haven’t). The person asked, “Do most men really have a stronger sex drive than most women?” This is one of those questions where the way you ask is changes the PRECISE answer, but the IMPORTANT answer stays the same. The precise answer is NO, it is not the case that most men have a stronger sex drive than most women. BUT the IMPORTANT answer is: