An awesome question: My vagina eats condoms. What do I do? [UPDATE]

An awesome question: My vagina eats condoms. What do I do? [UPDATE]

Here’s an awesome question:   The problem is that my vagina, as my partner says, “eats condoms.” I have in fact had to take Plan B because of slippage/condom suck-offage. This is particularly a problem when I orgasm (which I do, from penetration, frequently). We often end up having sex with frequent breaks to check whether everything is still firmly where it’s meant to be and/or I have to hold off from orgasms except when one of us is firmly holding the condom on. (I consider this a less-than-ideal solution, incidentally.) I recently went off the pill as it was causing a lot of fatigue and killing my libido (not

the dual control model

the dual control model

Originally written by the romantic euphemism and me for Erika Masturbateer Moen’s Oh Joy Sex Toy, here is The Dirty Normal Official Summary of How the Dual Control Model Works:

Why I’m in favor of Measure B

It’s World AIDS Day, so can I talk about the new regulation in California, mandating the use of condoms in the production of sexually explicit media? Yeah, I think it’s a good idea. Because I believe in evidence-based public health. I realize I might be setting myself up for a shitstorm, but ya know when you get right down to it, I’m a public health professional. I’m in favor of taxing the life out of sugar and tobacco, legalizing, localizing, and regulating marijuana, and providing food stamps people can use at farmers markets. These are all things that the evidence

Gaah! One condom at a time!!

Gaah!! Gaah!! I’m reading this silly romance novel and OHMYGODYOUGUYS, the heroine, who is portrayed as an uptight control freak who learns from the hero to loosen up etc (complete with hair going from tight bun to unruly curls), INSISTS THAT THE HERO WEAR 2 CONDOMS!!! NO!!!! You must all know this and tell everyone you know: Two condoms is WORSE than one! Latex rubbing against latex = LIKE WOAH FRICTION and results in HIGHER rates of breakage. I love seeing a heroine practicing safer sex and communicating clearly about her needs and desires, but OHMYGODYOUGUYS!!! What if there are

all kinds of weapons

So how’s this for something to piss you off? A 16 year old on the pill goes home in hyperventilating tears because the mean girls spent the day telling her she’s a slut who’s “out to sleep with every guy in the school.” The mean girls are repeating what their moms said, and their moms are repeating Rush Limbaugh. Like, okay, my opinion about Rush Limbaugh is what you would expect. He’s a fuckstick; we’ve known that for years. He bushwhacks through the jungle of the extreme right, creating more and more space for grotesque misogyny, homophobia, and sex negativity

they’ll like us when we win

Trigger warning. Discussion of attitudes supportive of sexual violence. Here’s a TED talk of Melinda Gates talking about how Coke does things that human services can learn from. Coke, she tells us, uses real-time data, local entrepreneurs, and aspirational marketing. What she doesn’t mention is that Coke has a product that is chemically addictive (caffeine) and filled with glycogen-ready sucrose. Human bodies/brains respond to table sugar in much the way they respond to cocaine. I’m pretty sure Coke doesn’t need to make us feel good with aspirational marketing, because it makes us feel good with sugar and caffeine. In contrast,

how a sex nerd copes with the primaries

A mildly sadistic friend of mine posted this on my Facebook wall: It could piss me off if I let it. The idea that this dude might be taken seriously as a candidate for president is either laughable or COMPLETELY FUCKING TERRIFYING, and for my own mental health I simply MUST choose to laugh. I took the 2004 election very seriously and it nearly killed me. I’m not exaggerating. When Kerry conceded, my knees failed, I collapsed on the couch and started oozing fluids from every orifice on my face. It was exactly like that scene in “Transamerica” where Felicity

the other problem with risk

I mentioned once that there was something important to say about risk and perception at the individual level versus the population level. Let’s try saying it this way: Every time I put my shoes on, my dog gets excited. “No, Mr Pants, I’m just going to work. What’s the matter with you?” I say. Why does he get excited when I put my shoes on? I mean, he only gets to go out, oh, definitely less than half the time that I put my shoes on. But. Me putting my shoes on happens EVERY TIME he goes out. Only my