I try not to be an angry ranting blogger, I do. Mostly I like being a helpful educational blogger who tells people how to have better sex, but if I don’t post the angry rants on the blog, then it bleeds out into my real life and I become extremely tedious to my friends, family, and co-workers. They all thank you for your tolerance. So we have a new example of the ridiculous anthropomorphizing that I called Mistake 4: anthropomorphizing desire. Purportedly “scientists” (insert Dr Horrible-esque figure in evil white lab coat, threateningly large rubber gloves, and ominously opaque goggles
(Apologies in advance for the heteronormativity of this post. Simultaneous orgasms are easier for same-sex couple because they aren’t necessarily facing the same biological differences that curse the straighties. Not to say they’re EASY for same-sex couples. Just a bit less difficult.) Romance novels and movies are awash in simultaneous orgasms. Hero and Heroeen (read that like you’re Dudley Do-right) cross that exquisite threshold, launch themselves willingly over a trembling edge, and tumble downward in a spiraling, panting tangle of sheets and sweat and oxytocin. Boy howdy, right? It’s terribly compelling, terribly romantic, this notion of fusing so utterly with
This is one of those statistic-y posts that people tend to like. It’s stuffed full of the kind of facts you can share at parties. Put them in your pocket and whip them out when there’s a lull in the conversation, or use them as icebreakers when you’re looking for an in with the hottie over by the bean dip. “Did you know that a hypothesized function of the male refractory period is to allow his body time to replenish its sperm supply?” Panty peeler. Every time. (Not really. Never start a conversation that way.) So here we go: I’ve
Again, by request: anal intercourse. Let me say first that penetration is a separate thing from external anal play. The anal sphincter is exquisitely sensitive and enjoys very light touch with well-lubricated fingers or a soft, caressing tongue. Both external and penetrative anal stimulation are additional sensations that can make powerful accompaniments to clitoral/penile or vaginal stimulation. Layers of stimulation, like whole body, plus clitoral, plus vaginal, plus anal, piled up gradually as a person gets more and more aroused makes for a highly intense experience that will make your toes curl and your eyes roll up in your head.
By request: Is there a honeymoon phase? Does it end? Yes. And yes. The honeymoon phase is made of attachment, the wildly powerful biological experience we tend to call “falling in love.” (I’m such a romantic, eh?) It can last, oh, maybe about 4 years, give or take. It has to end. That passionate phase is actually quite stressful – delicious and wonderful, but stressful, with its constantly heightened emotional state and the lack of sleep and the replacing food with sex. That shit can kill you! So yeah, it goes away – or, more accurately, it develops into something
The First Kiss post sparked a little controversy – well it was only Andrew disagreeing with me, which he does about most things, but in a fun way usually – which got me thinking about gender differences associated with initiating Firsts in a relationship. (This will all involve a lot of “Boys do this and girls do that,” and categorical statements like that are inherently untrue, but I’m using them as shortcuts even though they are problematic. Sorry.) So imagine this: you’re a boy, right? And you’re with a girl. And you’ve each spent a couple decades stewing the cultural
What do women want, you ask? They want to know that you thought about them when they weren’t there. You do think about her when she isn’t there, right? Then this shouldn’t be too difficult for you. If you don’t… well I just have no response to that. I have a hard time getting inside the head of someone who doesn’t think about the person they’re partnered with. Anyway. It’s what giving flowers is really about. What flowers you bring almost doesn’t matter; what matters is that it occurred to you to do something for her (a) without her asking
Energy orgasm. I’ve gotten more questions about this since BigThink posted the video of Barry Komisaruk on thinking yourself to orgasm. (Actually he says more about the topic in this video.) “Is it true that some people can have orgasms without touching themselves?” Yup. “Cool! How does it work?” Well, it’s complicated and it’s not well understood, but here’s my take on it: Remember first that an orgasm is the explosive release of sexual tension, and that that tension is generated by giving your Sexual Excitation System something to respond to. Your brain notices the sexy things in the environment