I love when this happens.
At the same time that I write about self-monitoring (spectatoring) and its effect on women’s orgasms, the NYT does me a favor and writes about self-monitoring (ironic monitoring) on sleep.
Notice: different behavior, same dynamic. When you are trying to do something that would otherwise be a natural reaction of your body to internal and external stimuli, you actually make it less likely that your body will do it.
I saw Dan Wegner give a talk way back in 1997, when he presented data on people’s ability to hold a pendulum still. Goes like this: Give a person a weight on a string and tell them to dangle it, unmoving, over the center of a table with a target-shape drawn on it. The higher the stakes of holding still, the MORE the pendulum moved. It’s an easy task, right? Hold still. But the more you try to hold still, the more you fail to hold still.
The best way to fall asleep, have an orgasm, eat healthfully, etc etc etc, is to allow it to happen, without trying.
Um, this probably falls into the “easier said than done” category. But practice the stuff from the preceding post, and it’ll help, it really will!