a very sex nerd birthday

Lately Wednesdays have been What Women Want Wednesdays. But this week’s is an extra-special, MUSICAL birthday edition of the sex nerd about what this particular woman wants.

In “Mary Poppins,” little Jane Banks sings about what she wants in her “Perfect Nanny.” (The rest of this post will make much more sense if you watch the original.)

So for my birthday, I have taken the liberty of rewriting the lyrics in the form of a birthday request for “The Perfect Manny.” D’you see.

CREDITS: Videography by my sister, who is a choral conductor and whose birthday it also is (that’s her cackling in the background at the end – she’s laughing at the expression on the dog’s face). Piano accompaniment played by her husband, also a professional musician. (BTW, the Fonotopia guy from Baltimore? That’s my brother. Everyone in my family is a musician, except me. Go figure.) Finally, that’s Addie, the fat little potato of a border terrier who lives with me.

LYRICS:
The Perfect Manny

Wanted: a partner for one adorable woman.

If you want this choice position
Have no active drug addiction
Have a job
Vote left
Eschew contempt

You must attach secure or slightly
Anxious; also take god lightly.

Like it when life’s a bit complex.
Think well. Like sex.

Never stonewall or lie.
Never cri-ticize me when
I cry.

Tell me every day you love me,
And never feel that you’re above me.

If you won’t get cold
And defensive
I will never make you apprehensive

I won’t make you shop with me or hold my bag
Watch Jane Austen films, even when I’m on the rag

Let me know soon,
Just a word.

Sincerely,
Emily
The sex
Nerd