what women want (9)

This week on What Women Want:

… to get LAID.

I’ve never been male-bodied so I can’t say this for sure, but I’m fairly convinced that the female experience of just wanting some damn sex is not very different from the male’s. A little different. Not very.

There are times when everyone really wants to be held, right? and made to feel supported and safe. And maybe it’s easy to assume that that’s what women want, because it’s a comfortable, gendered thought.

But dude, there are times when a woman (or anyone) really just wants wants the weight of another body in the bed and hands on her skin and someone else’s sweat commingling with her own and teeth abrading her lips and someone else’s genitals pressed hard against hers.

There are times, in short, when she’s thinking, “Just FUCK ME already!” When a fuck’s aerobic effortfulness is a better assessment of its quality than the luuuuurve she feels.

Dudes who are reading this: you can’t just think, “Yey! That’s an experience I can completely and immediately relate to!” I think the experience of just wanting to get laid is similar to men’s, but not identical.

Globally speaking, the who and the how of fucking are more crucial for women than for men. (Nothing is ever that simple in real life – context matters for men too, and not all women rely on context. We’re generalizing for simplicity.)

Want to create the right context? Then make it easy for her. She doesn’t want to worry about her body or your body or the relationship or all the other things she ought to be doing or what anyone else might think about the fact that she’s nekkid and bucking. Be trustworthy… but intense. Split a bottle of wine if you like, turn down the volume on your prefrontal cortexes.

It doesn’t always have to be flowers and chocolates. Sometimes we’d rather it were astroglide and buttplugs. Can ya deal with that?