My romantic euphemism is teaching me to use Photoshop, because I’ve decided that maybe I can do better than markers and printer paper when I make my little graphs. So! To learn to use the “text” tool, I put together this adorable image (complete with the appropriate creative commons license) with this blog post, one of my favorites, though it’s four years old. And made this. Which shows me how much appropriate graphics can add to a good analogy.
Back in March/April I read 50 Shades of Grey, as research for my nonfiction book, Come As You Are, which will be published next March. 50 Shades was so bad it made me angry how bad it was. And I swore that I would do something about it. Specifically, I swore that I would write a feminist, sex positive, evidence-based erotic romance with some kink. That is really happening. I’m posting it, chapter by chapter on a separate site, so y’all can read it. There are three chapters up now, to get you started. Basically, I took 50 Shades, doubled the IQs of the
Based on very interesting comments in response to my last blog post about when and how men should compliment women, I’ve compiled this brief, easy, 6-question survey for women. Please participate, if you like, and please also share! I’ll collect several hundred responses and share the results. Please share!
A friend of mine posted this on Facebook: Seen on the T:Man: (reaches across train to slap woman’s sneakered foot) “Those are pretty.”Woman: (takes out one earbud) “Excuse me?”Man: (pointing at her shoes) “I said those are pretty.”Woman: “So you needed to slap my foot?” Man: “It’s a COMPLIMENT.” Woman: (sarcastically) “Oh great. Thanks.” My friend commented, “My jaw actually dropped. At first I thought he knew her and was trying to get her attention and then I realized very quickly that wasn’t the case. Yikes.” All the women who commented were like, “*sigh* and “men…” and
As I was researching my epic g-spot piece, I reread Elisabeth Lloyd’s excellent Case of the Female Orgasm: Bias in the science of evolution, and I had one of those “HOLY CRAP,” moments. It came in Chapter 1, when I was reading these data: This is basically how Dr. Lloyd summarizes 32 studies conducted over 70+ years, on the frequency of women’s orgasms with intercourse – intercourse ALONE, mind you, not orgasm with additional direct clitoral stimulation. (It doesn’t add up to 100% because there are overlap in the groups, but it’s a solid representation of 70 years of science.) The central
Here’s an awesome question: If you could re-design the sexuality education curriculum for middle/high school students what would you change? (i.e. what are some practical relationship skills that you think are missing in today’s youth?) Honestly, I’d redesign the curriculum so that it was the parents who received the education. Parental shame about sex transmits DIRECTLY into kids’ brains and screws them right the hell up. Fix the parents’ shame, and the kids will sort themselves out. But assuming we can’t do that, I think if I could teach just one central skill to kids, I’d teach…
Here’s an awesome question: The problem is that my vagina, as my partner says, “eats condoms.” I have in fact had to take Plan B because of slippage/condom suck-offage. This is particularly a problem when I orgasm (which I do, from penetration, frequently). We often end up having sex with frequent breaks to check whether everything is still firmly where it’s meant to be and/or I have to hold off from orgasms except when one of us is firmly holding the condom on. (I consider this a less-than-ideal solution, incidentally.) I recently went off the pill as it was causing a lot of fatigue and killing my libido (not
Here’s an awesome question: Is the discrepancy in spontaneous desire between men and women the root of all gender-related problems? (I’m talking about the difference between “average of all men” and “average of all women”, not between individuals.) Because that discrepancy makes sex be seen as something women give to men, and not something men give to women. It’s the reason why (women think) “men always want sex” and why (men think) “women always say no”. Women don’t say no just to be mean, after all. In other words, there is an imbalance of supply and demand. That’s why …