what it’s like to write a New York Times Op Ed

what it’s like to write a New York Times Op Ed

It’s amazing. I can only say what my experience was, of course, and my experience was almost certainly not typical. I had a lot of help, through two first drafts, from my brilliant literary agent and my brilliant editor, which was fabulous, as it always is. My whole life, it seems, has been edited by these two women for the last two years, and my life is better for it. (I love being edited. Am I writing masochist? Does the training that makes me unoffendable as a sex educator, also make me unoffendable as a writer? Or do all writers

what we should be asking, instead of asking if the FDA is sexist (which it isn’t)

what we should be asking, instead of asking if the FDA is sexist (which it isn’t)

I’m not sure why journalists take it seriously, the assertion that the FDA is sexist. It’s a narrative invented by a PR firm for a drug company that has a massive profit motive for getting their drug approved. It is a very clever narrative, that feeds into cultural fears of government control of our bodies, and it cleverly coopts the language of “choice” and “women’s autonomy” for the purpose of making a drug company money. But, as Amanda Marcotte writes, “the reality is so much more complicated, and important to understand, than that.” I think, too, that it wastes everyone’s time and

15% of a feminist

We all know you can’t measure health or beauty on a scale, and that the thin ideal is a tool of capitalist oppression designed to keep women weak, self-hating, and distracted from dismantling the patriarchy, right? Right. But we also know that in this patriarchy, which has not yet been dismantled, women are more likely to be taken seriously as “experts” when you can see their hipbones. The thinner I am,the higher my IQ seems, the more pure my intentions appear, and, the more sexually appealing (PDF) my body is – and of course the more sexually appealing a woman’s body

the dual control model, in under two minutes

the dual control model, in under two minutes

We’ve seen the video that we can send to people, to explain arousal nonconcordance in under two minutes. Now here’s a video to explain the dual control model – the sexual “accelerator” and “brakes” that govern the sexual response mechanism. If you’ve ever sat at a bar trying to explain it to a friend and wished you could just show them a video on your phone or something… your wish is my command:

on the “pink pill” and “perfect” sex

on the “pink pill” and “perfect” sex

NPR’s All Things Considered covered the question of a “pink pill” for women – a medical treatment for low sexual desire. The piece ends this way: Carla Price says she would like to try flibanserin. Marriage counseling and a hormonal cream have helped, she says. But not enough. “Even though it’s better, it’s not perfect,” she says. “I would gladly take risks of side effects to keep my marriage and my relationship.”   Which strikes me as a very, very important idea. Carla, whom we meet at the start of the piece, is 50 and has experienced a radical decrease in

Ask Me (and three more wicked smart women!) Anything! Friday the 13th at 11am EST

Ask Me (and three more wicked smart women!) Anything! Friday the 13th at 11am EST

It was on this day, five years ago, that Parks and Recreation aired an episode called “

10 awesome things to combine with my book, to get free shipping on Amazon

10 awesome things to combine with my book, to get free shipping on Amazon

Do you do this, too? Collect stuff in your Amazon cart until you get over the $35 threshold for free shipping? I can help with that! As you know, I’m doing a free ebook giveaway if you pre-order my book this week. It’s (currently) $12.96 in paperback, which leaves you $22.04 away from free shipping. Here are ten great options that take you just a little bit over that threshold, and provide you with at least three fantastic reads!   1. For Totally Fun Sexytimes Bonk ($13.55), on the weird world of the science of sex, and The Siren ($11.44), sparkingly

a little thing you can do to make the world a better place for women’s sexual pleasure

a little thing you can do to make the world a better place for women’s sexual pleasure

IT IS COMING! As of today, we are 23 days away from the release of my book, Come as You Are, which is a project that you, my dear blog readers, have helped with enormously in a number of ways. I hope that, in return, there has been stuff on the blog that has helped you.   I’m hoping you might be interested in helping in one more way. Apparently pre-orders are a good thing, my publisher tells me, so… would you maybe pre-order the book (here is the UK edition), if you have the $13 (or $10 for the Kindle edition).*